Michael 2: Michael and the Halloween Flyer, Part 2
PART 1: QUICK REVIEW OF ALL NINE ICONz
There are 9 different ICONz®, which are keys that unlock proven ways to help you get along with other people and help you deal with situations in your life. When I go over these keys — or ICONz — I want you to tell me if anything happened since we were last together where you used an ICONz or if anything happened where you could have used an ICONz but didn’t.
Here are the ICONz. (BRIEFLY REVIEW THE 9 DIFFERENT ICONz. ASK THE LEARNERS FOR RESPONSES AFTER EACH AND FEEDBACK FROM LAST SESSION. ASK THE LEARNERS TO GIVE EXAMPLES OF HOW THEY HAVE USED THE ICONz OR SAW OTHERS WHO COULD HAVE USED THEM.)
PART 2: INTRODUCTION TO THE CHARACTER AND THE SITUATION
Today we’re going to meet Michael Cunningham. I will tell you about Michael and a situation he was in where he almost offended a lot of people. We will then talk about what ICONz helped him.
Michael is 13 years old. He is very smart and does well in school, but he thinks he’s smarter than most other people, which causes him to have a lot of arguments with others. Michael blames other people for everything that goes wrong in his life. He tends to think he’s special and deserves to have things go his way and that other people should do what he wants them to do. He thinks that many things other people expect him to do are “stupid” and that most other people are “lazy”so he gets into arguments with his parents, his teachers, and the people around him.
He thinks his parents don’t understand him, but he’s really close to his grandfather, Pap, who lives in another city and calls Michael at least once a week. During their calls, Michael tells Pap about things that are going on in his life.
SITUATION: Michael and the Halloween Flyer, Part 2
Michael talking on the phone to his grandfather about his week:
<Note to group leader: Remember to generalize two or more ICONz in a RECAP section.>
Mom came home from work and started to print off some papers she needed for a meeting with the bank the next day and her printer was out of ink.
“Michael,” she asked, “Have you been using my printer? It’s totally out of ink and I just put new ink cartridges in it last week.” I hadn’t thought about how much ink it took to print 50 color flyers front and back (Get the Big Picture, Take Another Look, Flex Your Mind). So I showed her the flyers.
I thought Mom would get all excited about the flyers like I was, but she didn’t (Get the Big Picture, Take Another Look).
She sat me down at the table and read through the flyer then said, “Michael, you did a very good job on this flyer. You were very thorough in finding the facts and it looks really professional. But first of all, you used all the ink in my printer on them and second of all, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to give these out to the Trick-or-Treaters” (Watch Your Speed, Get the Big Picture).
I couldn’t believe she was saying that, and I started arguing with her (Watch Your Speed). Sure, I was sorry about using all her printer ink, but wasn’t letting people know about childhood obesity more important than the cost of a few lousy ink cartridges? (Get the Big Picture, Take Another Look, Flex Your Mind).
“Why wouldn’t it be a good idea to hand out my flyers?” I argued, “Everyone needs to know how bad candy is for you and how much of a problem childhood obesity is” (Watch Your Speed, Talk to Your People).
Mom tried to explain (Talk to Your People). She said, “If you give out these flyers to overweight children, it may hurt their feelings. People can be overweight for a lot of reasons other than eating too much candy. Sometimes they have medical issues or they have a really hard life and they eat the wrong things because they are kind of depressed (Get the Big Picture, Flex Your Mind).
Or sometimes their families just don’t have enough money to buy good food. If you give these flyers to a child like that, it may cause them to eat more candy because the flyer makes them angry. It’s like when I tell you to turn off the TV and you get mad and decide to keep watching” (Get the Big Picture, Take Another Look, Flex Your Mind).
I hadn’t thought about the things she was saying (Watch Your Speed). I was just concerned about kids knowing how bad candy was for them and how bad it was for them to get fat (Get the Big Picture, Flex Your Mind).
Mom continued, “And most of these kids are just eating what their parents give them. It’s not just the children who need to know what’s in your flyer; it’s the adults who let their children eat junk.”
It kinda made me angry, but I could see her point (Watch Your Speed, Take Another Look, Take Your Turn, Flex Your Mind). I hadn’t realized that sometimes problems are a lot more complicated than they appear. But I’d done all that work on the flyers and didn’t want to just throw them away. So Mom suggested that we get some healthier treats to give out and instead of handing out my flyers to the Trick-or-Treaters, I take them to school and ask Mrs. Donovan if I could pass them out in my current events class (Find the Middle Ground, Talk To Your People).
So I did. And guess what, Mrs. Donovan gave me a grade of 110 in current events that week. And, even better, she showed my flyer to the principal and he enlarged it to poster size and tacked it up on the school bulletin board so everyone could see it.
I didn’t get the word out about childhood obesity the way I’d wanted to, but it worked out even better (Change is O.K., Flex Your Mind).
PART 3: DISCUSSION GUIDE (use the questions below to engage the Learners in discussion.)
ASSESS THE CHARACTER AND THE SITUATION.
- What could Michael have done before creating the flyer to have avoided this problem in the first place?
(He could have told his mother/teacher about his plan (Talk to Your People), he could have used Flex Your Mind to think of another plan.)
PREDICT THE OUTCOME BASED ON WHAT HAS HAPPENED SO FAR.
- If Michael had followed his plan, what would have the kids have said who got a flyer? (Leader elicits possible outcomes from Learners.)
(They would have been angry, argued with him, told their mothers, etc… Angry with him at school)
CHOOSE A COURSE OF ACTION FOR A MORE POSITIVE OUTCOME.
- What lessons could Michael take away from this experience? (Group leader elicits possible courses of action from Learners.)
(If you Get the Big Picture, you realize whether something that is said could hurt someone’s feelings. Other people don’t like to be told what to do. They’ll be less likely to listen to what you have to say if you’re bossy.)
GO OVER THE “QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF”. (Group leader elicits possible outcomes from Learners.)
- What offends you? How do you know what might offend someone else?
GO OVER THE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT.
“HERE’S YOUR HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. REMEMBER TO COMPLETE IT BEFORE OUR NEXT SESSION.”
- Imagine that you have a friend with a very messy room and that you prefer to keep your room very neat. Instead of telling your friend what to do – like saying that his room looks like a pigsty and telling him to clean it up – what else could you do?
- What ICONz could you use to help you?
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